The 10 ways Australia would be different if we were an American State

August 22, 2006

Inspired by Darren’s recent list making competitions, I present some facts for those who think Australia is nothing more than an American State:

The 10 ways Australia would be different if we were an American State

1. Our currency would be made out of paper and would be green. Not only would it be really easy to forge, North Korea would be one of the worlds largest producers of it.

2. We’d be one of only 3 countries in the world that don’t use the Metric System.

3. We would only have been on the winning side in major 20th century wars if we’d turned up late.

4. We’d drive on the wrong side of the road, mainly because we decided to do so to spite the British.

5. We’d also wouldn’t be able to spell in English correctly, and hence we would have adopted our own version of English spelling which we would then try to impose on the rest of the world.

6. Our murder rate would be at least 4 times higher, and most of those murders would involve guns, which many of us would own and keep at home.

7. Instead of having a $10 billion+ Federal Government Surplus, our Federal Government would have a trillion dollar defecit.

8. Terrorist attacks on home soil wouldn’t just include the Hilton Hotel Bombing, and yet we would never have been attacked on home soil during a war.

9. English would not be our official language (the US doesn’t have one). Everyone in Victoria would speak Spanish, although we’d still call them Mexicans.

10. McDonalds would include pickles on their McOz burger, and instead of serving Sausage and Egg McMuffins for breakfast, we’d be eating Burritos.

13 responses to The 10 ways Australia would be different if we were an American State

  1. Liberia and Burma…

    I should have added 11:
    Border Security would be a joke 🙂

  2. ROFL 🙂

    As a future Spanish-speaking Mexican (the state formerly known as Victoria):
    “esto es muy divertido, usted basher americano”

    (English: this is very funny, you american basher) 🙂

    Pickles on a McOz Burger!!! – el yout consigui?É?í?Ǭ? embromar (you got to be kidding)

  3. Please tell me you were trying to be funny…

    1)Unless you have some really good evidence otherwise, all of our currency is made in the states.
    2)You got us there…
    3)And Again.
    4)And again, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
    5)If you think thats bad, try ebonics.
    6)If Australia hadn’t been a penal colony, you would have rebelled against the British lords and would own guns too.
    7)We have that because of all the aid we send out.
    8)two words. Pearl Harbor
    9)we’re working on that one. In fact, I believe they made english the preferred language.
    10)We get sausage and egg mcmuffins here as well.

    that was fun.

  4. Actually I recently watched a docu on TV that stated that there is hundreds of millions of dollars of fake us money going around eastern Europe.

    If I recall correctly, I think they said that if the US Gov was to go for a big crack down it could cause some sort of economic collapse in those regions.

    And just tonight I see that the US has finally decided on an official language – yes it’s English.

  5. Actually thatedeguy, the polymer banknote is not only an Australian invention, it’s also made in australia as well.
    On 6: I don’t think so.
    8. Pearl Harbour was Hawaii and didn’t have statehood at the time…and it wasn’t on the American mainland.

  6. Duncan,

    I thought we were talking about American banknotes…

    Guns are and will continue to be an American way of life. The existence in guns doesn’t promote gun violence, it’s actually been proven to decrease the number of gun related violence. It’s the gun control people who make it seem like the guns do the killing. But that’s another argument for another day.

    Hawaii became a US territory in 1900. Pearl Harbor happened after that. I guess I missed the qualifier that it had to be a state and a part of the mainland in order to be considered “home soil”. My bad.

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